New Year's Disillusions
My friend Amber posted something really cool on Instagram…her best pictures. It must have been a thing because I saw a few other people posted something with their “best pictures” from 2020. I didn’t do it, firstly because I didn’t know how, but secondly, because I didn’t have a lot of great pictures from this year. In fact, when picking out pictures for the annual Christmas card I only had 2 to choose from and they weren’t great…Unlike years past, I didn’t have a lot of “picture worthy” memories to capture.
What I loved most about Amber’s post wasn’t her pictures, though I like the one she included of me, but what she said in the comments. She recounted the blessing in her life: new relationships and new endeavors. For her, and for me, 2020 wasn’t the worst year ever. I realized this at my physical therapy appointment this morning, which turned out to be more of a counseling session. He started by asking me if I would be glad this year was over, and my honest reaction was no, I’m not.
I’m not a martyr; yes, there was things I didn’t like (quarantine, fear, riots, life shutting down), but there have been amazing things that God did in my life. He called out my gifts; He brought me a new Christian community; He brought me close to my kids. He taught me new ways of doing new things. I had more time to hike, knit, read, and ponder life. He helped me develop new ways to minister and refined my calling. He got me into therapy. He’s bringing healing to my physical body by revealing a chronic injury I didn’t even know I had. I’ve reconnected and stayed connected to old friends. I’ve eaten amazing food and spent a lot of time in my favorite places: the beach, the lake, the mountains, and the woods. He’s given me compassion for others and helped me how steadfast and solid my hope in Him really is. He’s given me a longing for heaven and a desire for Him to come back and take me to the place He’s preparing for me. He’s given me an interest in learning new things. He has grown my children’s faith. He’s given me the courage to say no and not apologize for it. I’ve lived more in light of eternity than I ever had.
Yes, my life got shaken up but that can be good if you look at where the pieces land and rebuild something better. I’m looking forward to next year, but not because this year was awful and a vaccine is coming out (though I’m so grateful for that) but because I’m excited what God is going to keep doing in my life. He was so at work last year, refining me, growing me, stretching me. He put me in a place where all I had was Him and I was reminded that HE IS ENOUGH! He is all I need and excided to continue to be content with Him and Him alone in the year to come.
I’m reading through the books of the law right now and was so blessed by these words from Numbers 9:
On the day that the tabernacle was set up, the cloud covered the tabernacle, the tent of the testimony. And at evening it was over the tabernacle like the appearance of fire until morning. So it was always: the cloud covered it by day and the appearance of fire by night. And whenever the cloud lifted from over the tent, after that the people of Israel set out, and in the place where the cloud settled down, there the people of Israel camped. At the command of the LORD the people of Israel set out, and at the command of the LORD they camped. As long as the cloud rested over the tabernacle, they remained in camp. Even when the cloud continued over the tabernacle many days, the people of Israel kept the charge of the LORD and did not set out. Sometimes the cloud was a few days over the tabernacle, and according to the command of the LORD they remained in camp; then according to the command of the LORD they set out. And sometimes the cloud remained from evening until morning. And when the cloud lifted in the morning, they set out, or if it continued for a day and a night, when the cloud lifted they set out. Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time, that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camp and did not set out, but when it lifted they set out. At the command of the LORD they camped, and at the command of the LORD they set out. They kept the charge of the LORD, at the command of the LORD by Moses. vs. 15–23
For a solid month I’ve been reading about the articles in the temple, the details on the craftsmanship, the materials, the dimensions, the consecration—I’m learning to see these things all point to Jesus so I’m interested. The result of Moses’ obedience was he did all that God commanded him to do [1]and the glory of the Lord feel on that place and a visible reminder of His presence was with the people. Sometimes it was a day and night, sometimes it was a month or longer, but God had them dwell where and how long He wanted them to be there. As they made the journey, God’s presence tangibly guided them.
Friends, 2021 may end up like that for you as well. Maybe you’ve been focused on the hardships of 2020 and they won’t change with a new page in the calendar. Maybe God has you camped a little longer where you don’t want to be. But don’t forget what He is doing in your midst and that there is evidence of His glory, even if you’re stuck in the same place. Trust Him to move at the right time. Like Israel, the marks of His glory will lead you. Our hope is not in a new year but a reliable Redeemer who uses all things for the good of those He loves[2].
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