Ephesians- The Beauty of Submission
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
5 Bondservants,[b] obey your earthly masters[c]with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master[d] and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.
Ephesians 5:22-6:9 (ESV)
So far in the last half of Ephesians, Paul has been admonishing all Christians to treat one another the way that Christ has treated us—to humbly love and serve each other in the unity of the Spirit. This section gives instructions for leaders and how to treat those under their care. He now uses illustrations of specific relationships to explain what that calling looks like in our day-to-day lives.
One thing that may be a hard concept for modern day readers is the idea of submission. In each of the three examples there is an order within the relationship where one member has authority over the other. As many pervert authorities and disregard their role to lovingly care for others, it is hard for some to trust these relational dynamics. Yet God in His goodness put structures in place to care for humanities vulnerabilities, to nurture and serve. We need God’s guidance on how to interact because we are tempted to live opposite to His commands, to rule over one another, to be coldhearted and rebellious. Another pattern shows that each partner in the relationship has a command from God, how to submit and how to lead in a godly manner. Submission doesn’t imply inferiority. All are one with equal value and dignity as humans are made in the image of God. Everyone has to submit to someone; this is about function not worth.
Submission is a form of worship as Christ is lifted up as the head of all. Verse 21 ends with this idea: “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Accepting the relational guidelines God has set out in His word is a way to ultimately submit to Jesus as your Lord.
5:22-33 Wives and Husbands
In the marriage, God asks the woman to submit to the leadership of her husband. Notice women are not to submit to all men, but to her own husband. Also, she is to submit to him as the church submits to Christ, meaning the woman is to submit to righteous requests from her husband, not all commands. In fact, in this section, the husbands have many more commands given by the Lord. His role is to love, sanctify, and sacrifice for his wife. A man that treats his wife that way is easy to trust and submit to.
The husband is to love a wife as Christ loves the church. Christ gave his life for the church so correspondingly a husband is to love sacrificially, putting aside his life for her. The result of this love is sanctification for his wife. Though Christ cleanses the church through his atonement, the husband can remind his wife of the gospel, and disciple her to love the Lord. This makes his bride one who is without spot of blemish, as grace covers her as she leans into the truth of the gospel.
The unity between a couple who respects and cherishes each other, following the commands of God for their role in the relationships is a spiritual mystery and symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church. The bond between them is one flesh, a bond that supersedes all other relationships.
6:1-4 Parents and children
Another relationship that displays godly submission is between parents and children. To obey parents in the Lord is to accept their guidance and discipline as His representatives while you live in their home. Honoring your father and mother was first found in Exodus 20:21 as of the 10 commandments. It was the first commandment to list a benefit for keeping the law of God. Entering the promise land in scripture was a literal place to the Israelites under Moses and Joshua and a symbolic place for the church. Honoring your parents is a way you honor Christ, thus those who have been saved consider this dynamic as a way to honor God.
Most adults eventually leave their home and form a new family. Even if you are single and independent, your relationship with your parents will change. Maybe your parents aren’t a big part of your life as they didn’t foster a warm relationship with you as you grew. It is okay to respect and be kind to them when you interact. Your parents may have been abusive and it isn’t safe for you to trust them or continue a relationship. Honor your parents in this case may be forgiving them and looking to the church to provide mothers or fathers in Christ.
Parents have guidelines in their parenting from the Lord. They are not to provoke children to anger. If you’ve ever had a toddler, you know that saying “no” to your children for their good may cause a temper tantrum. That is not what Paul is referring to when he talks about provoking—he means not to exasperate them to the point of resentment, where you make demands that are unreasonable or humiliating. It can even be showing favoritism between your children or tuning out emotionally to them.
Instead godly parents should raise children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. The following list shares scripture that describes wisdom for parents and elements of training our children to fear the Lord:
· Genesis 18:19-teach your children to keep God’s ways
· Deuteronomy 4:9-tell them how God has worked in your life
· Deuteronomy 6:7-teach them in different contexts as part of your natural life rhythms
· Psalm 78:4-share about God’s power
· Proverbs 19:18-dicipline brings the hope of character development in them, don’t give up!
· Proverbs 22:6-the result of our training doesn’t show up until later in life
· 2 Timothy 3:15-expose them to scripture at an early age so they will understand the faith as they grow
6:5-9 Bondservants and masters
The last relationship Paul gives instruction for is how servants in the home were to be treated. In American history, this passage of scripture was taken out of context and used in brutal ways to shame Negro Christians into obedience to violent and abusive practices. Yet these verses are in Scripture so how do we deal with it today?
This passage in Ephesians is not the only place where God addresses the dignity and worth of those who found themselves under conditions of slavery. Galatians 5: 28 demonstrates equal status in all who believe in Him: There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male and female for you are all one in Jesus Christ.
The book of Philemon was a letter Paul wrote while in prison in Rome to a Christian brother and slaveholder. The circumstances of the letter are that Onesimus, one of Philemon’s slaves, had ran away and became a Christian at that time, meeting Paul. Paul was writing to ask Philemon to spare his life and accept him back not as a slave but a Christian brother, and to consider freeing him to assist Paul in the ministry.
I’m going to quote a commentary about slavery from the Reformation Study Bible to give us important historical and cultural background to help us interpret this section of scripture to help us answer the question, how does God view slavery?
“it is clear that slavery was not a part of the original created order, so it would be impossible to argue that slavery was ever an inherently good thing. Furthermore, it is also important to keep in mind that slavery as practiced in biblical times was very different than the chattel slavery practiced in the Western world until the nineteenth century. As an example, in both ancient Israel during the OT period and the Roman Empire during the NT period, slavery was not based on one’s race and slaves in both systems had the opportunity to purchase their freedom. While it would be a mistake to glorify ancient slavery, it is also necessary to remember that slavery in the ancient world was almost the only way to deal with impoverishment. When one could not take care of oneself and one’s family, selling oneself into slavery could mean the difference between life and death. In other words, ancient slavery enabled people to escape starvation in the absence of charitable or government assistance.
God revealed Himself to people trapped in personal sin as well as the sinful structures that exist in a fallen world. Slavery was key to the ancient economic system and kept many people from going hungry. Had the apostles and prophets called for its immediate abolition, things would have been made much worse not only for the slaves but also for the entire society. People would have starved and economic collapse and chaos would have ensued. The most loving thing that could have been done was the regulation of slavery and the revelation of principles that over time would lead to its abolishment without making life much worse for those who had no other option for survival except slavery That is exactly what we find in Scripture—a transformation of the master-slave relationship that leads inevitably to the end of slavery wherever the gospel is truly embraced and its implications for all of society are lived out.”
How do these verses apply to us today? Slavery still exists in the world, sex trafficking and work conditions in some places in the world mimic slave-like conditions. We can support ministries the work to free women and give them counseling, life skills, and employment.
Many commentators draw parallels from this passage to an employer/employee relationship. The principals in this section can apply to our work life as many bondservants engaged in willing employment. Some of the things we see in these verse that are attitudes we can bring with us to work are:
· respect your supervisors
· work hard when no one is watching (eye service)
· don’t work to please people but God
· working with goodwill, enthusiastically and willingly
· know that if your good work isn’t recognized by earthy employers, we will receive compensation from the Lord
As we’ve seen in all three sections, God also has directives for employers as well as employees. They are to do good to their in their organization, to not lead in a threatening manner, and to not show favoritism among employees. God reminds them He is the Master over all, including them. How they treat their workforce will be under His awareness and they will be accountable to Him.
In the close relationships of family and work, God defines how we are engage, to worship and glorify Him.
Reflection questions:
1. Have you ever considered that submitting to God’s commands regarding our relationship is a way to reverence Him?
2. In which of the three areas were you most challenged? Is there one that is a joy to lean into?
3. What next steps will you take to humbly submit to others to honor God? As a leader, how can you better care for those God has entrusted to you?
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