Devotional: Like A Weaned Child

But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:2

 

Being still has always been a struggle of mine.  From a young age, I sought to find significance in things the world valued as I hadn’t discovered the soul-satisfying peace of finding worth in God.  My main go-to was being productive to get praise from others.  I could work very hard and strove to have others notice my efforts.  It made me feel a part of things, essential and valuable as my inner heart was missing this grace.  Even now, when I’m most upset or worried, instead of crying or yelling I often storm around the house cleaning!  At those times I believe the lie that when I work I matter.  When I make the outside look good, the inside will follow.

 

In my Christian life, I have been told that it is important to have a “quiet time” with God.  This is phrase means: sit down by yourself, pray, read your bible.  Now as I recognize that I won’t always feel like doing this, and that discipline has a place in my faith, and that I need to carve out time for that to happen, I also don’t want to make the place where I feed spiritually a task to be checked off.  In the world of schedules, sports, staff meetings, birthday parties, floors to mop, and school lunches to make, there are times when my list is so long I stroke myself when I get that time with God.  I sense pride taking root that have managed to include God in my list.  There is a subtle line between the discipline of set-aside time with God and dwelling with Him and nourishing your soul.  Getting real daily bread, the kind that cultivates and sustains communion. 

 

In this season God has been teaching me about rest and what quiet really means.  One thing He showed me recently is the verse above in Psalms, the significance of coming to Him like a weaned child.  Yesterday Abby was our riding her bike after school.  She fell down and bumped her hip and scraped her knee up.  Hearing the slam of the door and the breath inhaled as she was ready to let out a cry for me.  Hair frizzy and stuck to her face amidst the snot and tears that glued it there.  It is those moments when you know all you can do is hold them.  We sat together on the couch, her legs still tan from a summer of climbing fallen logs at the property nestled close with mine.  She tucked into my neck, hiccupping with pain.  As the minutes past, my arms around her squeezing and reassuring I am here she starts to calm, the sobs become whimpers, the anxiety becomes peace.  The joy of my girl 7 years grown, cuddling like a small child, feeling well again because she is enveloped in my arms and safe.  I’ve never really understood that verse until God brought it to me in that moment.  A weaned child is older, not given (as much) to tantrums, independent yet still in need to run to their parents when security is threated and the sting is overwhelming.  The parents’ joy in those moments,  that a child who is not dependent on sustenance from their mother still returns to find a place of refuge. 

 

We are that child when it comes to God.  We are weaned when though He has grown our faith, we recognize the need to run to Him.  That though we are “bigger,” we are never too old to go to Him when the world tries to squeeze us into His mold.  The secure space we seek through discipline is instead the lovliness of preparing a soul to be calm and quiet and going to Him as Psalm says as one who has built the relationship of trust thru heartache in life.  And what a picture for me, the love I felt for Abby in that bike-speckled moment is the same my Father feels when I come to Him.

 

Here are some words from Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try Hard Life by Emily Freeman which puts our need for true quiet in such clear terms…

Be. Trust. Recieve. Respond.  When I live as though I believe that’s true, activity doesn’t stop. Rather, it takes on new life.  It doesn’t require an entire day of quiet reflection, although I wouldn’t  turn it down.  It is purposing in my heart not to fret.  It is allowing the day to go as it will.  It is holding my plans with an open hand and a willing heart…Even in the midst of lots of activity, our souls have permission to rest.  I don’t always choose to rest, but this is a sweet reminder to me that I have that option...Quiet time is no longer something I do.  Rather, it is a description of what happens when I am with God.  Time can be a loud, chaotic, rushing-around companion.  But as I sit in the presence of God, He quiets my time.  Now that I know what the truth is, I long to allow space for my soul and spirit to begin to believe it (pg. 148,149).

 

I pray you make space in this day to approach God like a child who still needs a Father to protect and guide.  To dissolve worries and fears.  What a timely message as this fall I will be studying and teaching through the Psalms and desire a heart that can praise and worship.  I know to get to that place, I must first have a heart that is still in the profound, content with my God…

 

If you’d like to join in my study, check last week’s blog post for our first installment.

 

Desiring peace in deep places,

-Rayna